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Ayesha Takia's supporting the
fight against AIDs
September
11, 2007
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Here are a few pictures
 of
 Ayesha
Takia campaigning for AIDS awareness, and Aandhi.com campaigning of
Takia Awareness, two causes which need the urgent attention of people
from all over the world. Can she even be considered a normal human being
anymore? I've seen professional bodybuilders who take up less room then
her. And she's got a flat stomach and lean legs, so I wonder whats
taking up all the room.
Heck, I won't be surprised if you could spot her on your next flight to
Mumbai from the view in your airplane window, riding all around Mumbai
with her boyfriend on his convertibles. Ofcourse you wont be able to
spot the car...you'll just see Ayesha Takia's big...head. She definitely
needs a haircut.
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More Kareena than you can
handle
September 09 2007
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We've got some dosage of
Kareena Kapoor
for you. Above is a recent picture of Kareena Kapoor, or pretty much her
legs, thighs and arms, cause that's all which is left of her. Does she
even have a upper body now? Can we substitute the arms and think of them
as a 'complete upper body'? I've seen permanent markers which take up
more room then this girl's upper half. But who cares, atleast she's
beautiful...just like my index finger. I get many modeling offers, but
due to my career as a consultant to government spies, I have very little
time for such hobbies.
Anyways,
 on
to l ess
important people than I: Kareena Kapoor. A reader sent in some pictures
of Kareena Kapoor literally crying during a press conference. And a few
more of her walking...and walking...and looking at someone....you know,
things which are very important to us and our no-bullshit, business only
style of reporting. I have to tell you, she's got a good makeup stylist
now. And she can still give other girls a run for their money with these
jeans. And did I say that she's got a good makeup stylist now? What I
meant to say was that she does pretty well to look like a punctured
tomato...you know, the one without the juice.
Note: If any of the above reader-sent images belongs to you,
let us know.
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Inzy, Yousuf, Razzaq and others join ICL
September
07
2007
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The latest news surrounding the Indian Cricket League (ICL)
is the confirmation by four major Pakistan players that they are
retiring from International Cricket and heading over to their neighbor
country to take part in the league. The names of these four players are
Inzamam-ul-Haq (37), Mohammed Yousuf (32), Abdul
Razzak (29) and Imran Farhat (27). All four players have cited various
reasons, the most common one being not selected for the Twenty20
tournament and in Inzamam and Farhat's case, not being selected for the
upcoming test team fixtures.
Whether Imran Farhat leaves or stays is quite irrelevant and should not
be considered news, but the remaining three are world class players.
PCB's stipulation that anyone who takes part in the ICL will not be
considered for selection is the equivalent of rubbing table salt on your
own wounds. Mohammed Yousuf was destined to be one of the greatest
batsmen of all time, Inzamam is already accomplished enough to be
considered as Pakistan's all-time best batsman and as far as Abdul
Razzaq is concerned, no doubt he looks like the guy who inflates tires
at the local cycle repair shop, but he is a quality allrounder none the
less.
Judging from the fact that the ICL will be probably do a XFL and
be bankrupt within a year or so, you do hope that these three players
are not wasted. Let's just give them a general pardon after they come
back, in return for autographs of Shahrukh Khan which they shall collect
during their stay in India.
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Hum Sab Umeed Say Hain is tragic
September 01 2007
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Last week, we talked about how ingeniously horrible
Sahir Lodhi and his show are. But now let's talk about the worst show in
world television today: Geo TV's Hum Sab Umeed Say Hain. The show is
quite popular amongst the middle age citizens of Pakistan and the writer
Dr. Younis Butt is one of the more popular writers in the country.
Okay, I don't know how I managed to say that all without puking. If you
try to imagine how the show's script is conceived, you'd pretty much get
a mental image of a chimpanzee on a type writer, drinking coffee and
writing knock knock jokes related to Pervez Musharraff. Heck, does this
thing even have a script? It sounds more like a recitation of "Alice in
Wonderland goes to Pakistan". The best way to summarize this type of
humour is 'light and intentionally bad" humour since it's just not
possible to try and write a funny script, no matter how bad, and come up
with something as ridiculous and disturbingly off-track as this.
For Godsake, Shoaib Akhtar is called "Speed Akhtar"
amongst other absolutely shocking 'laughing material'. And on top of
that, we have film reject Veena Malik reading the news bulletin as if
she is promoting "Mega Ass Burner 2000" or some other get slim product
rather than running a comedy show. If that isn't enough, the people
playing some of these real life personalities are as close to their real
life counterparts as I am to ugly people: miles apart. Infact, you might
as well have your deranged six-fingered uncle put a spoon inside his
nose and that would be a more accurate representation of Pervez
Musharraff then the punk they have in the show.
Here's a sample of how the show usually goes:
Pervez Musharraff: Yahan ki hakoomat meray control mein hain....
Chaudhry Shujaat: Sir, Ahista bolein, log sun lein gay (audience
laughing sound clip) |
Pervez Musharaff: Sunanay do, aakhir mein kabhi kissi say
kuch nai chupata... (audience laughing)
Chaudhry: Yes sir!Your probably wondering where
the joke is. Same here. And before I establish this as the worst thing
on television, let's give credit to one more contender: that disgusting
joke of cartoon on the same channel. Put on some glasses on a herd of
donkeys and that would be a more qualified creative department than what
Geo has got here. You reckon anyone who can fill-up a cigarette with
weed can get a job here.
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From the Vault - AR Rahman Sound
Files you won't find in stores
September 05 2007
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 The
Maestro always seems to be on our pages, one reason or the other. We've
got a couple of files from the genius of India for you today. Here is
the Jeans Background Music (BGM) which is basically the actual
background music of the movie, since there was no releasing of the BGM
soundtrack by the distributors.
And just cause most of our visitors are poor people and look to us as a
source of income and well-being...we'll link you the new Airtel ringtone
in Telugu, featuring presumably KS Chitra. Along with another
AR Rahman
classic no one listens to or remembers, Patti Rap. And judging from the
fact most of you have Nokia 3100, don't go on adding this Airtel
ringtone to your phone, it'll probably make your phone unplug itself and
go to the police station in order to report physical abuse.
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Salman Khan in jail
September
03 2007
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 Less
than 3 weeks after Sanjay Dutt was sentenced to six years in jail,
superstar Salman Khan finds himself in the same shoes. According to
sources:
"Salman has been convicted of poaching a Chinkara deer at the Ghauda
farm near Jodhpur on the night of Sep 28, 1998, while filming Sooraj
Barjatya's film Hum Saath Saath Hain. He has been sentenced to
five years in jail."This probably is good news
for Sanjay Dutt, as everyone had pretty much forgotten about him and now
there'll again be a rise in interest in regards to his case..."Salman's
going to jail? Oh man...hey wait! Isn't that Sanjay Dutt guy also in
jail?"
Yep, people don't waste any time in forgetting you. And don't you dare
spend any time feeling bad for this Salman guy. Within the last eight
years, he's managed to make love to Aishwariya and Katrina Kaif...and
that's almost equivalent to living 500 years in heaven...so no
condolences whatsoever. |
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