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Archives
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Pakistan's Ehtasham-Ul-Haq makes it to Wimbledon
June 30
2007
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Ehtasham-Ul-Haq puts a smile on
the faces of Pakistanis everywhere after their first sporting
achievement in the last decade. Ehtasham become the first Pakistani
player in over three decades to make it to the world's premiere tennis
event. Ironically, it is understood by one and all that he probably will
be annihilated and humiliated by a world ranked 110 odd an be sent back
in the first or second round. But try telling that to Ehtasham's mother. Mrs. Haq
has been on the media all week proclaiming his son's efforts in order
elevate Pakistan's name. Mrs. Haq, I would be happy to let you know your
son is still not ranked in the top 200 players list. And there happen to
be less than 200 countries in the world, which means theoretically we
can say Pakistan is still no where. When he does enter into the top 150,
please do call me for a hearty congratulations. Till then, shoe off,
monkey lips. |
Shoaib Mansoor's In the Name of God
June 28
2007
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He's the most respected director in Pakistan, with the
legendary drama 'Alpha Bravo Charlie' and the Anarkali video in his
repertoire. Now the 6 foot 4 inch director hits Lollywood, in what is
expected to be the biggest film in Lollywood's not-so-jolly cinematic
history. Many factors are expected to give this film an edge over other
Lollywood productions. First of all, the camera being used is the Aries
4, which is the standard in both Bollywood and Hollywood. Secondly, the
director of photography among other crew members happen to be foreign
professionals. The film stars Shan, model Iman Ali and pop singer Junaid
Jamshed amongst others.
The ads are already running on Geo Television.
Apparently the film is being released by 'GEO Films'. So far the ads
simply show stills from the movie warning us about something very, very
serious, which apparently is related to September 11 and the war on
terror Unfortunately, the only thing which will get the Pakistani public
in theatres now is Nargis running around the Pakistan motorway in a see
through peacock suit. God have mercy.
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Indians & Pakistanis abandon Orkut for Facebook
June 26
2007
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Orkut was the most 'in'
internet activity for most Indo-Pakis-Big Butted People (Brazilians) in
2006. But now, the times are changing. It just happens that Facebook,
the premiere social network in the United States has become the network of choice for desis and pretty much everyone else. So who is left on Orkut?
All of these government schoolites who can't speak English, look at
girls as if they are trees made out of holy gold stolen from Panama and pretty
much everyone who can't use the complex structure of Facebook. And what's
happening on Orkut now? In the past five days I've gotten 20 'frandship'
requests from boys from Delhi, Karachi and other cities. Since the
ladies are gone, they're going after beautiful boys. *Blush* |
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10,000th feature on 'Kareena Kapoor
in Jeans'
June 24
2007
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The most in-demand topic these days is ofcourse,
Kareena Kapoor and her
exterior. The whole world is talking about it. Infact, very soon we may see a
wax replica of Kareena's butt on display at Madam Tausadde's main
enterance, the perfect welcome for foreign visitors. It turns out our 'ghattiya
jasoos' have come up with another gem for the Kareena in Jeans collection.
Man, just imagine if you were in Shahid Kapoor's position: No need to go
to Brazil, the beach is right at home. Again, this is my perverted split
evil persona, Chandraswami.
Updated: Kareena Kapoor picture in sari added. Why? Cause
Stone Cold said so, kids.
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Windows Vista flops in India, Pakistan
June 23
2007
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Microsoft's latest operating
system, Windows Vista, has failed to gain popularity in India-Pakistan.
The reason is very simple: the illegal copies distributed of Windows
Vista are very difficult to activate. According to sources, there are
illegal ways of activating Vista, but it is very difficult for the
common computer to carry out the tasks required to activate the copy.
Add to that the fact that 80 percent of internet users in this part of
the world don't even know how to read English, and activating becomes
almost impossible. A word for the wise, get the original version due to
it's many benefits. One of the benefits is you'll be recognized as a
socialite and a very rich man in your respective area, just like me. |
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