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Archives
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Rakhi Sawant is a wreck
July 05
2007
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Here's the famous Rakhi Sawant - Mika "Eh bhai tunay
pappi kyun li" photo. In other words, these are
snaps of the hottest thing to hit the hindi music video industry, Rakhi
Sawant. Ofcourse I'm talking in terms of the Polish language word "haut"
which means 'downright ugly'. If she's a model, I should be considered
the 21st century's living, breathing answer to Michael Angelo's David.
Near lifesize posters of Rakhi have also started
appearing in stores around Bombay. One of my friends was going to
Bombay, and I was contemplating asking him to bring me a couple of these
posters so I can burn them and donate the ashes to a voodoo temple or
something. But I had a better idea, why not create a life-size 3D
replica/statue of Rakhi Sawant.
Here are the ingredients to create your
very own Rakhi Sawant life size replica:
1 fully ripe pumpkin (face)
.75 kg black charcoal (to match pumpkin color with Rakhi's face colour)
4 wooden sticks (two legs and two arms)
2 helium balloons (bust)
1 mutilated helium baloon (butt)
1 fried pakora (nose)
Put on some lingerie and you have your very own Rakhi Sawant. Now the
question is, why try to make Rakhi Sawant when there are company
made and equally scary Freddy Krueger and Candyman life-size replicas
available for party decoration purposes.
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WWE wrestler Chris Benoit commits
suicide/murder
July 04
2007
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Now
this is a shocker. I mean this is one of the news stories which hits you
on the back of the head once a month. WWE, which is extremely popular in
the young generations of India/Pakistan and pretty much everywhere else
in the world, has been hit with a slingshot. At a time where they were
running a fake 'Vincent McMahon killed in bomb explosion" angle, a real
life tragedy has hit them and knocked them back. Chris Benoit, one of
the greatest modern day wrestlers, reportedly killed his 6 year old son
and his wife, after which he committed suicide. To put the dough beneath
the cream, the police also found the Holy Bible next to his son and
wife's feet.*
*All content and shopping items related to Benoit have
been removed from WWE.com.
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Abhishek impressing Aishwariya on wedding night(simulation)
July 03
2007
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Abhishek Bachchan is officially the luckiest man on
the face of the Earth. First of all, despite his father being a
struggling businessman (failure), he doesn't need to go look for a job.
Amitabh will just go to a producer of his
choice and order the main role to be vacated for Little B. And then, he
gets lucky because he gets married off to a former Miss World, a woman whom
India is unsuccessfully marketing as the most beautiful in the world for
the last 10 years or so. Why does that make him lucky?
It's simple. The most difficult phase in any traditional indian marriage is the
wedding night,
especially the opening lines. How easy, I mean how easy is it to come
up with a good line for
Aishwariya while/after picking up her dupatta'?
Here are five I have without even thinking for a second:
1. You are the most beautiful girl in the
world.
2. They weren't kidding when they named you Miss World.
3. Now I know what the world is talking about.
4. If the judges had seen what I am looking at right now, they would've
named you Miss World for a decade.
5. Jab tum mujhko dekh kay yun sharma jaati ho, achi lagti ho (song from
Ash-Abhi starrer "Kuch Na Kaho".
Think you can come up with better lines?
Post 'em
here.
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Tony Blair's term comes to an end
July 02
2007
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 British
Prime Minister Tony Blair said good bye to his position as the British
Prime Minister after about 65 years or something like that. Whatever the
accurate number is, it has to be above 50 cause the last British Prime
Minister whose name I know is Winston Churchill, and he was around near
WWII. Anyways, we could've see him and his wife packing up inside the
house where they lived during his two terms. The BBC was presenting it
as if we are supposed to feel sorry for them or something. I am sorry to
tell you but I am not one of the people who gets sentimental from such
things. I mean he isn't my favorite rock star who gives his final show
after 40 years of hard work. Nor is he a homeless laborer living in
Africa who struggles to feed his children. He's a prime minister.And about his relationship with George Bush. Tony,
let's see if he asks you over for tea and biscuits next week like he did
for the last 7 years. It's a very materialistic and selfish world, my
friend.
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Shahid makes Kareena laugh, successfully this time
July 01
2007
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 I don't know if this is
trick photography, but another image of
Kareena Kapoor and Shahid strolling
around a beach area (a much more latest picture than the one posted
last week), shows Kareena actually laughing at something which Shahid
said. Judging by the symmetry of his face, he's probably reciting
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star or Humpty Dumpty and the smile on Kareena's
face is the one which you give when you see a cute baby or something.
Week in and week out, I ponder the same thing, and will
continue to ponder: What does Shahid have which I don't have? I've got
the looks, the clothes, the money (Dont worry, I'll spend all I have on
her and lie to her that I've got plenty more where that came from), the
acting ability and a much better sense of humour. And if it's the baby
face look she is after, I might not have that, but with the help of
genetic engineering, I'll damn make sure our son, Sameer Kapoor has one. Please Kareena,
I'll come to Dubai and you can run up to me with delight in slow motion
like Kajol does in DDLJ. If you can run with your face the other way and
your back facing me, that'd be even better. |
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