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Nishabd had a first: Amitabh's only onscreen kiss August 31 2007

There was a time when only Salman Khan, Amitabh Bachchan and Shah Rukh Khan were left on the list of Bollywood stars who had not indulged in on-screen kissing, a horrible disgusting act worthy of prosecution to the fullest extent possible. Now, the only two survivors left are the Khan's, for Amit has been swayed by his 20-year old co-star in RGV's Nishabd. This was no where on the net, so only when we got to watch the film did we stumble upon this cute, little peck on the lips. I guess Amitabh realizes in order to be taken seriously as actor through out the world, he has to start kissing much younger actresses. And by next year, he will realize he also has to act in some passionate lovemaking scenes (especially the ones in a bathtub) otherwise he will never fulfill his true potential. All the great actors have done it...the Brandos...the Pacinos...the Geres....the Electras. Now, it's Amitabh's turn to shine. You can't blame the dude, he's been married to cupcake Jaya for 75 odd years. How long can he hold himself? He's human*, you know.

*This just in: He's a camel. Not human. Far from it. 
 

Esha dislikes father Dharmender's kissing frenzy August 26 2007

Notable side-heroine and ultra-flop lead actress Esha Deol has said that she still is Daddy's little girl, but was very unhappy over Dharmendar's kiss with his Metro co-star Natasha Ali. She said the kiss was uncalled for and her father shouldn't have done it. However, she went on to add that she was very happy about the success her father has found with Apne and Metro.

You know what else is uncalled for? Esha Deol being cast as a lead actress in a movie. But it's still happening. You might as well cover up a tractor with a bedsheet and that would be more fitting to star as a leading actress than this girl. For Godsake, she reminds me of a Dodo bird. I could've sworn I shot the very last one in my African safari trip back in the 50's. They're supposed to be extinct. Ughhh, time to take out my old trusty rifle again.*
 
*For self-protection, ofcourse.

Note:
The fact that the two articles above are related to old actors kissing young ladies has nothing to do with the spirit of Aandhi.com. We are still fully devoted to spreading peace and unity through the world, and nothing else.
 

Kareena Kapoor might be anorexic August 23 2007

Kareena Kapoor has lost a world of weight. Kareena says that she had lost the weight because of her role in Yashraj film Tashan. She was required to do a lot of stunts in the movie, hence she decided to get into the mould. However many industry experts are saying that Kareena Kapoor may be anorexic, or in other words, may suffer from a lack of eating appetite.

I was expecting Chickens around India to celebrate this announcement with great joy, but later realized she was a vegeterian anyways. Ah, Life hasn't been easy for the little Kapoor. And we here at Aandhi.com blame only and only Shahid Kapoor. First you take her to restaurants and instead of feeding her, you keep her busy with your dirty french kissing tactics. Then, you taunt her for having a fat butt. And when she goes to open the fridge, you slam the fridge door shut, splitting her ribcage into pieces. You bastard. Wait till I tell the world about you!

Oh wait, that's Mike Tyson's married life. Not Shahid.
 

AR Rahman's Jana Gana Mana released once again on 60th birthday August 18 2007

AR Rahman's Jana Gana Mana has been released again due to the 60th Independence Day celebrations of India. The CD contains about 435 versions of Jana Gana Mana and they're pretty much the same expect there's a different singer in each version. Oh hell, anybody with a tongue has probably sung in this album. Hmmm, lets see the list of singers: Lata Mangeshkar, SP Balasubramaniam, Hariharan, Jagjit Singh, Amjad Panwala, Farook Engineer, Robert the motorcycle mechanic, Salman Khan's girlfriend's brother's father-in-law's son, the guy who topped the education board in the 1995 Matriculate examinations and....you get the idea. Ofcourse AR Rahman's rendition is a must have, but don't expect too much variety. It is what it is says: AR Rahman - Jana Gana Mana...loads of it.
 

Ram Gopal Varma's Sholay now turns to Aag August 22 2007

Ram Gopal Varma's dream project, his remake of Sholay, has been left in tatters. Due to copyright problems and lawsuits filed against the controversial film, the name of the film as well as most of the characters have been changed in order to avoid furthur legal problems. The film is now called "Aag".  Gabbar Singh will now be called "Bhabban Singh" and Basanti will be called "Ghungroo", amongst many other name changes. The trailers are out and no doubt the film looks nothing special. There is a lack of star power other than Amitabh Bachchan and Ajay Devgan. And Ajay Devgan doesn't really count. He's like a fill-in when you can't find a better actor. Or any actor.

All of this controversy will surely create the hype required to get the fans into the cinema halls, but it takes away a lot of the gloss from the end product. I mean you have to feel for RGV. The movie's literally been raped now. He as might as well have named it 'Strip Poker in the Desert' because when Gabbar Singh is named Bhabban Singh, it cannot be called Sholay.

And what are the Sippy's getting from doing this? It's not as if this movie is going to make them any less poorer than they already are. I mean they're prolly homeless already if you estimate that they've done nothing worthy on this planet since the original Sholay. Can it get any worse than 'homeless'? Can it?


Sahir Lodhi is an idiot
August 21 2007

Sahir Lodhi is arguably the worst entertainer in India-Pakistan. One of you chumps sent in a stream of Lodhi's Sahir Lodhi show, which is basically a ripoff of Conan O' Brein's late night show. You know things are going bad for you when your ripping off from Conan O' Brein. That's like being a monkey and learning to climb tries from a crocodile.

Lodhi is the biggest Shahrukh Khan wannabe this side of the Indus. The guy breaths, laughs, talks and looks like Shah Rukh Khan, or atleast he tries. You see, what he ends up looking like is a chewed up kangaroo scrotum. The guy has absolutely the worst lines possible. And on top of that his personality....it's almost sad. It's almost as if he ended up telling his dad he wanted to become a Shahrukh Khan when he grows up and ended up being butt spanked by his uncle on his dad's request for the next 8 years. Well here it is Lodhster. It's your chance to shine. Just keep on making sure you come on at night after everyone is asleep. Otherwise we'll have a problem. Lo-lo-lo-lodhi.
 

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